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Love Quotes and Love Quotations on romance and all loving occasions.
HOPES & DREAMS -
By Marcy Ann
The Wedding Day
The groom and I stood on the cliffs at Corona Del Mar on
a beautiful summer's day, with the cloudless blue sky and the
deep blue ocean framing the picture. All the guests were also
standing to uk replica
watches watch the bride step out of the block-long white limo
to begin her walk down the long sidewalk to the edge of the cliff.
The groom sighed a big sigh and said, "All of this" - and I knew
he meant everything they had done to have their wedding - all the
plans for the clothes, the attendants, the site, the limo, the flowers,
the reception - everything - "All of this is for her, isn't it?"
And I said, "Yes, it is." And in all the cultures of the world, even in cultures where the woman still experiences submission and
suppression, it is the Bride's Day. And everything that happens this day,
Ms. Bride, should point to, emphasize, validate and glorify you!
always ask my brides at our first meeting, "What have you
always dreamed of doing when you thought about getting
married?" Most brides say that they have always seen
themselves walking down the aisle to the one they love.
One bride said, "I must have my feet in the ocean." (At her
Wedding, I ended up in the ocean, too!). Another bride dreamed of being married on a boat. (We cruised around Newport Bay
while we did the ceremony). Another bride said she wanted a big
pipe organ to play The Wedding March. (We found a local church
that made their facilities available for rent, including the organist
who played The Wedding March on the big pipe organ). One of
my brides said, "Well, I was raised Catholic in Mexico. I have
always dreamed of the moment when the priest would bind us with
the ropes." "Bind you with ropes?" I asked incredulously.
Apparently, this is an old tradition in Mexico when they are
pronounced husband and wife, the priest puts an elaborate rosary
around the fake watches
shoulders of the man and the woman. "But," she
continued, "my boyfriend doesn't want to take a year to become
Catholic. So I can't be married in The Catholic Church. I guess I won't be
able to do it." I looked at her for a moment and then
said, "If you want to be bound with ropes, I will bind you with
ropes!" Her face burst into joy. She remembered that her sister still had
her marriage rosary. As I spoke the Native American
Apache Indian Wedding Blessing for the couple, when I said,"You are two
persons, but you now share one Unity of Purpose,"
I put the beautiful crystal rosary around their shoulders. I bound
them with the ropes! I could tell during the ceremony that the
bride was w-a-i-t-i-n-g for the moment. She was ecstatic, the
groom was "caught" and the congregation, many of whom were
unfamiliar with the tradition, loved it.
Another bride, quite a student of mythology, shared with me
that in some mythological situations which require total
dedication of a man and a woman to one another, the couple are tied together
at the wrists, her left wrist to his right wrist, to
represent her physical weakness relying upon his great strength as they
enter into the agreement. She was a very tiny woman, delicate and fragile,
and her fiance was huge and very muscle-bound! She said, "I have always Thought I would like to do this
when I got married." We used a soft satin ribbon that was covered
in pearls, and I "tied the knot" when I pronounced them husband
My friend, People Photographer Jane S. Roper and I
did a wedding for a couple right at the water's edge of the Pacific Ocean
under the cliffs of Dana Point, California. One day while
sailing along the coast of California, the couple had spotted this location,
and they had purposed in their hearts at that moment
That "this is where we are going to be married - if we can find someone who
will marry us there." (My ad in the paper at that
time said: "any-time, any-place.") The four of us had to walk nearly 30
minutes along the shore, climbing over rocks, through
tide pools, along narrow ledges and under rock arches to get to the spot,
and of course had to walk the 30 minutes back to
civilization. The bride and groom were appropriately dressed in sturdy
tennis shoes, but I was professionally dressed in my white
clerical robe and dress shoes. Jane was also dressed professionally. By the
time we got back to the Pier where we had
started, I had big blood blisters on the bottoms of my toes and the whole
bottom of my feet were black and blue. Jane said, "Marcy, you owe me a new
pair of shoes!" But during the ceremony, the ocean waves crashed upon the
rocks, spraying us with wisps of salt water, the sea gulls sang, the soft
breeze caressed us, and the sun created millions of diamond spotlights on
the ocean to herald the occasion. It was absolutely beautiful.
Unless you swiss rolex are
being married according to teachings of a
certain religious faith or sect, there really are no "rules" about how
to get married. I mean, if you want to come to the wedding site
galloping on horses, you can! Or if you want to be married up in
the air in a hot-air balloon, or on the ground on a Harley Davidson,
or on the water in a boat, you can!
On Super Bowl Sunday in 1996 I married a couple at the
largest sports bar in Orange County California during the half-time
of the Super Bowl Football game. The bar was jammed with Super
Bowl fans, not all of whom were invited to the Wedding, but who
took part in the festivities with great enthusiasm and wild, vocal
expressions! This Wedding caught the interest of the media, and
CBS, NBC and FOX 11 News all came, loaded me up with
microphones under my robe, and later that day, they ran the clip
showing the bride and groom at the "goal-post altar" being
pronounced husband and wife by me. The bride told me that
football had brought them together and football would keep them
My oldest daughter was brought to an altar in an outdoor
private garden riding in an antique wooden cart painted white and
draped with flower garlands, pulled by an adorned pony that her
father led down the garden path defined by rose bushes aflame
with roses. The only music was the singing of the birds in the
trees. I shall never forget the birds singing as she approached
At one of my weddings, the best man was the groom's sister, appropriately
dressed in a tuxedo,
and the maid of honor was the bride's cat, an absolutely gorgeous
20 pound full Persia cat, perfectly groomed and perfumed, with a pretty
dress and very much aware of her part in the
festivities. The bride's mother met me at the door to inform me
that the cat was like her daughter's child and had to be in the
ceremony. The bride and groom were entering third marriages
together, both now in their late forties. They believed that they had
finally found the right person. They wanted the most important
"people" in their lives to be in their wedding. For the groom, it
was his sister; for the bride, it was her mother and her cat.
Your wedding day is your special moment. It can be just for the
two of you, and/or it can include all of your friends and family.
It's up to you. One of my grooms was very, very shy. He would
not and probably could not be involved in a big celebration that
involved a lot of people making him the center of attention. The
bride loved this man intensely. They had been living together for
over two years, very happily. She told me he was a wonderful
man, very loyal, steadfast, faithful, with a good job and in private,
he was communicative, very loving and kind. But he just could
not go through any type of public ceremony, not even to go to the
County Clerk's Office to be married there. So I married them in
their home, in front of the fireplace. He had just come home from
work, still dressed in his work clothes, unshaven and with a beer in
his hand. During the first part of the ceremony, he was tense and
fretful, but the bride relished every word, tiny tears spilling down
her cheeks. The groom struggled through the vows and was
embarrassed to even kiss the bride after I pronounced them
husband and wife. I carry two cameras with me at all times, a
regular one and a Polaroid. I quickly brought out the Polaroid and
said, "Let's just take one picture for your scrapbook." The groom
looked trapped but surprisingly agreed. She was delighted. He
then briefly shook my hand and fled to the refuge of their private
quarters. She apologized, but I told her, "Hey, it's OK! You are
now a married woman, Mrs. ___________," and I gave her a big
hug. I could feel that there was a part of her that would have loved
to have had the big wedding and the love and blessing of her
friends and family. However, I also knew that she now had
everything she really wanted - living in a lovely home with a man
she loved with all of her heart who loved her who was now her
husband. After all, loving and being loved is all there is.
Anything goes, Ms. Bride! You should manifest and
demonstrate as much individuality and self-expression as the two
of you are comfortable with to show that the uniting of your two
souls is something special and different than any other person or
couple in the entire world!
I do a lot of second marriages and we do them at the beach.What I hear so many times from the bride is, "I really wanted to
be married at the beach the first time, but my parents wanted a big,traditional wedding where they could invite all of their friends.
Now I am going to have the wedding I really want." I wonder if
this bride could have been married at the beach the first time would
have made her marriage last? I think we need to fulfill the inner-most desires of our heart in order to have our entire being involved
in the process.
So I ask you the same question I ask all of my brides:
What have you always dreamed of doing when you got married?
No matter what you want to do, don't be afraid to do it at your
wedding. Don't worry about what "others" will think. The
consideration of the guests is always secondary to YOUR desires,
YOUR wishes for YOUR wedding. Right now, make your list of
all the things you want and have always dreamed of having at your
AT MY WEDDING, I HAVE ALWAYS DREAMED OF:
Now check off each item according to the plans you have for your wedding
now. Have you fulfill all of your desires? Look at the ones that are not
checked off. Is this important to you? You should not compromise on this
list! You want to make sure you have EVERYTHING on your list. Otherwise, you
should re-consider your plans for the wedding.
CLOTHING OPTIONS & MUSIC! One of my brides was an expert horsewoman and had won
many beautiful and large (over six inches across) sterling silver
belt buckles at competitions where she and her quarter-horse
performed expertly. The groom was a cowboy, a real cowboy
who worked on a big horse ranch in Wyoming. For the wedding,
the girl attendants wore white tee shirts and black jeans with black
cowboy boots and black belts and the beautiful belt buckles. All of
the men also wore black jeans, with white cowboy shirts, and large
black cowboy hats, black belts and the beautiful belt buckles. The
Groom wore the bride's most special and largest silver belt buckle.She wore an old-fashioned frontier-woman type dress, adorned in
hand-tatted lace, much like what our fore-mothers wore to be
married in the 18th Century. Country western music filled the
lovely backyard where they were married under an arch covered
with roses right in front of the free-form pool made with huge
boulders and a lovely waterfall. This wedding was simple and
very inexpensive, but it was a perfect expression of their love and
At another country-western wedding I did recently, the
Groom wore a real gun strapped to his right leg, along with his
cowboy boots and big cowboy hat. I said, "John, are you really
going to wear that gun to get married?" He said, "Why, Lord,
Yes, woman. No self-respecting cowboy would be seen in public
without his gun, especially on his wedding day!" The bride walked
to the altar to the song, "Do Not Forsake Me, Oh My Darling, On
This My Wedding Day." And after I Pronounced them husband
and wife, the D.J. played Gene Autry singing, "I'm Back in The
At most of my beach weddings, the couple and usually the
Guests and myself, are bare-foot. Recently, just at the point where
I was asking the bride if she had a ring for the groom, she suddenly
jumped back and gave out a cry. Before I could determine what
the problem was, I heard the wave crash and it swooshed in and
caught us all! The groom was looking at the bride, but she was
looking at me and saw the wave coming! Many couples choose
a Hawaian theme at the beach, and the men wear Hawaian shirts
and leis. "Aisles" are created in the sand using shells, starfish
and/or tiki torches or shoots of bamboo draped with wedding net
My son and his wife, Cindy, used a black and white color
scheme to show their mutual love of auto racing and the traditional
checkered flag to herald the winner! The wedding cake was black
and white. All attendants were in black, even the girls, which at
first seemed to me to be too much of a departure from tradition;
however, I must confess that it is extremely dramatic. Since then,I have done many weddings with all attendants in black and the
bride only in white. At The reception afterwards, my daughter-in-law's sister spoke. She Said, "I met Dave first, so there was
initially the prospect of Me being in white today, and Cindy being
Music is an extremely important part of a wedding ceremony,
unless you are being married at the ocean, for the ocean is
a symphony of sound and no other music is necessary. I have had
grooms sing to brides and brides sing to grooms. One groom sang
"At Last, My Lonely Days are Gone" while accompanied on the
guitar by his four-year college room-mate. One bride came down
the aisle alone with a sax player right behind her playing
"When A Man Loves A Woman." Another couple walked in
together while a fully-skirted musician played the bagpipes! I've had
Polynesian bands, harp, steel bands, guitar, electric piano, ukeles, just
Special clothing, color schemes and music are ways to
express yourself and your special Wedding Day. Let your heart
THE PLACE OF THE WEDDING CEREMONY I think that some people think that if they are not married in
a church, somehow it is not "official." Others have very specific
religious beliefs and feel that they should be married in a church to
honor God. The Wedding is another part of their overall religious
experience. The spiritual definition of "church" is anyplace two or more
people are gathered together in love! So with this definition in mind, you
can be married anyplace and be married in "church."
I personally have only performed one wedding in a church.An Asian Community Church in Orange County California rents
out their newly-refurbished sanctuary for weddings to help pay for
the costs of redecorating. One of my couples chose this setting for
their wedding. But most of my weddings are at the beach, or up
on a cliff over-looking the ocean, or at city, county or state parks,on a lake, near a waterfall, in a forest, at hotels or restaurants, at
museums or on a boat, at country clubs or private gardens, and
many, many times, in beautiful backyard gardens, or by the pool
or a fountain, or inside the home, standing in front of the fireplace
One of my brides had always seen herself being married in
an isolated meadow in the Cleveland National Forest standing on
a small bridge that spanned a lovely bubbly stream. The site was
reached by a 30 minute walk through the forest which the guests,
and the clergy, of course, gladly hiked. Her choice of location
eliminated some guests from being able to attend the ceremony,but it was so important to the bride to be married there, it didn't
matter. The elderly members of the family joined the group later
on at the reception.
One of my couples chose the park where they had enjoyed
many hours of bicycling and hiking. Another couple chose the Campsite where they had been taking their camper for years on
vacation. Another couple were married at the marina where the
groom use to have his boat which he had lived on and had loudly
proclaimed to all who would hear that he was blissfully happy and
would NEVER marry! All those who had heard his
proclamations were at the wedding!
Most hotels have beautiful places for weddings with grand
ballrooms for receptions. All country clubs have facilities for
weddings and receptions. Most states allow weddings in the city,county and state parks. You usually have to get permission to use
these places, and they usually have covered facilities in areas
where a sudden rain shower can come up without notice. Irecently did a wedding at the Long Beach Aquarium. We stood in
front of the largest fish tank in the museum, and after the
ceremony, the wedding guests were allowed to visit all of themarine displays while the Bride and Groom took their formal
The power of the ceremony will be in the words that you
say to one another from your heart. The place should have a very
special purpose and significant meaning for you. It should be a
place where you can return to from time to time, to again feel the
original vibration of your love and adoration, to renew your vows
and promises to each other and perhaps make new ones. I always
give my couples a copy of their wedding ceremony, and I
encourage them to return to the place where they were married
often and say the words of their marriage ceremony again to one
another. The place will amplify and expand the beauty, the
emotion, the heights, the depths, the lengths and the breadths of the
love that brings you to your special marriage altar, wherever it is.
IN THE WEDDING CEREMONY
AND SOME PROCESSIONAL SUGGESTIONS
My most beautiful bride both in physical beauty and who
also wore the most beautiful white wedding dress adorned ala
Queen Victoria, with a long train and a full-floor-length headpiece,
had their eighteen-month old son dedicated right after I
pronounced them husband and wife. The bride and groom were
already the mother and the father of the baby. Now they were
husband and wife. They had taken almost two years to decide if
they wanted to be married. They did not want to marry just
because they had a child together. Now they knew that they
wanted to be together because they loved one another. This child
was a first grandchild on both sides of the family. These
grandparents, the mother and father of the bride and the mother
and the father of the groom, provided the two young people a
supportive environment, emotionally and financially, to give the
kids a chance to fall in love. Now they knew that they wanted to
be together because they loved each other. She said she felt like
she was a part of him. He said he couldn't imagine being with
anyone else. The baby was a result of the strong physical
chemistry that had been there from the beginning. The bride was
on the pill, but the pregnancy HAPPENED ANYWAY. Now the
baby was to be a part of a family - created by two people who not
only loved him, but loved one another. It seemed appropriate to do
the dedication while they were celebrating their decision to spend
the rest of their lives together. She held the child in her arms in her
beautiful wedding gown and then he held the baby wearing his full
formal tuxedo. Everyone cried, especially the maternal and
paternal grandparents. And certainly this is a wedding everyone
who attended will always remember.
Some couples who have had a child together prior to the
marriage may not want the child in the ceremony. They feel that
the wedding ceremony is just for them. That is up to the individual
couple, and I always let them decide just how and if they want to
include any offspring.
Many couples who have children from former marriages
want to include the children in their marriage ceremony. Some
brides walk down the aisle with their children. One bride had each of her sons, ages 11, 12, 14 and 17 years, lined up along the
aisle way. As she walked down the aisle, she had each one join
her, so by the time she reached the altar, she was accompanied by
all four sons. Her daughter was her maid of honor. Another bride
walked down the aisle with her two daughters, one nine and one
seven on either side. We included the girls in the ceremony by
asking the groom if he was willing to assume the position of father
figure to the girls and provide an environment for them where they
could grow and mature into happy adults. Then I asked each girl if
she was willing to allow the groom to be their father figure and
accept his thoughts and guidance for her life as long as she lives in
the household. At the rehearsal, the one girl said, "Yes," very
loudly. The other girl just nodded her head. The mother explained
that she just wanted to nod her head. And during the actual
ceremony, the youngest gave her resounding "YES" and the oldergirl shyly nodded her head. The guests enjoyed this part of the
wedding very much.
A boy child can accompany the groom and carry the ring.
One such young son was completely satisfied being responsible for
the ring and standing with his dad to wait for his new "mother" to
come down the aisle. We did not include him in the words of the
ceremony, but he waited intensely for the time when he was to
produce the ring for his dad to put on the new wife's finger, and he
felt very important.One of my brides wanted her seven-year-old son to also
receive a ring. After the bride and groom exchanged rings, I asked
the groom: "Do you desire to create an environment of love and
support where (son's name) can grow and nature into a happy
adult?" Then I said, "Bride and Groom, do you have a ring for son's name)?" The vow as they gave the ring to him was: "We
give you this ring, as a sign of our love. Please wear it as a sign to
the world that you are a very important part of our family." The
groom then spontaneously said to the little boy, "Give me five!"
They hit their hands together, and then they embraced
passionately. There was not a dry eye in the place! What made
this ceremony so touching was that the "son" of the groom, a
young man not his own flesh and blood but whom his former wife
and he had raised, stood up with him as His Best Man. At the
reception, the Best Man said in his toast how wonderful the groom
had been to him as a father figure, and he knew that the bride's son
was truly in good hands. All the rest of the afternoon, the little boy
went around the whole room showing everyone his ring. He was
so proud of it, and it made him feel included and very special to
the both of them, which of course he was.
When there are children of former marriages, especially
younger children, you must always remember that they think they
are getting married, too. One dramatic example of this was when I arrived at the lovely home of the groom where we were going to
have the ceremony. The bride's daughter met me at the door with
a friend of hers. She announced to her friend, "Oh, here is the
Minister who is going to marry us today!" Then she laughed and said, "Oh, I mean, marry my mom today!" But, her first thought
was that she was getting married too!
When it is a second marriage and the bride and groom have children from
their first marriages, I usually suggest doing a Family Blending of the
Sands Ceremony. Each person chooses a color of sand and the sands are
all blended together into a Keepsake Container, thereby symbolizing the
creation of the new family together.
Here is a saying that one of my brides and groom's used during the Family
Blending of the Sands Ceremony:
To be a Family is to love together, to laugh
together, to cry together, to share the course of our lives with those who
care about us. To be a Family is to learn to relate to each other, work out
our differences, help each other grow and nurture each other's talents and
gifts. To be a Family is to hold hands, share a hug, blow a kiss
and to know that we are a part of something special - a family. May we treat
one another with respect, honesty and caring, for that is the only way
we will ever grow together. May we share the little discoveries and changes
each day brings, remembering that each one of us has something to say, and
listening to one another is important. May we try to always be
sensitive to one another's joys, sorrows, needs and changing moods and
realize that being a loving family means sometimes not understanding
everyone all the time, but being there to love and to help just the same.
We believe in living deeply, laughing often and loving always. We have
been brought together to support and care for each other. We believe
that every one's feelings count, and that the uniqueness of each of us
strengthens all of us. We believe in the power of forgiveness to heal
and the power to love to carry us through. We believe in one another
and in this family.
When it is a first marriage, and there are no children, many
couples wish to have little children in their wedding - to be the
ring bearer or the flower girl. If the children are under 3 years old,I always suggest that there be little chairs for them to sit in at the
altar. These little chairs can be decorated and made to enhance the
wedding "altar." It is important to have a rehearsal, also. My
experience is that if the children rehearse their part, and they have
a specific place to be at the altar, they will do very well.
However, the parents of any small children who are in the wedding
must be responsible for the child at all times, and if they will not
walk down the aisle or if they begin to cry or act out, the parents
should go and get the child. The Wedding Day is really for you, Ms. Bride. I
always tell my brides that there should be NOTHING planned in the wedding
that could possibly take away from Your Wedding Day! If there is any
possibility that a little child will cause a commotion, do not have them in
the wedding. And always have someone who is in charge of the child, who can
come and take them away if they begin to cry or cause a distraction. There
is nothing sweeter than a little girl dressed in her adorable little wedding
outfit coming down the aisle just before the bride, strewing rose petals.
But there is nothing worse than just at the point where I am going to pray,
or pronounce the couple husband and wife to have a small child say, loudly,
"I have to go peepee."
The Congregational Blessing is a lovely way to include the
guests in the Wedding Ceremony. After the bride and groom say
their vows and give and exchange rings, I ask the guests that if
they wish to add their blessing to the marriage, to please respond
by saying "I do." The guests then say "I do" in unison. Usually
the guests are behind the bride and groom, and the couple hear this
grand sound coming to them from the guests. It gives the couple a
great feeling. And incidentally, I have my brides and grooms face
each other during the ceremony. This way the guests can see their
faces, the smiles, the tears, the love between them.
Another way to include the guests is to have a place in the
ceremony where the married guests can re-say their vows to one
another. And still another way to include the guests is to have a
small printed program, giving the full details of the wedding,
including the ceremony. This way, the guests, who sometimes do
not always hear every word that is said, can follow along in the
program, and they can know when they have a part in the
ceremony, as well. The program can identify the clergy, the
Wedding Party, the order of the ceremony, and give instructions for after
I recently did a wedding for an active-duty Marine who
asked his friends, who are members of the Marine Honor Guard,
to participate And form the arch of swords for the wedding party to
walk through both to and away from the altar. The men also
escorted in the bridesmaids, and I was impressed with the dignity
and the honor each Marine, in his Full dress Blues, gave to each
girl. Since this wedding, I discuss with my brides if they wish to
have the bridesmaids walk in alone, Or if they wish to have them
escorted by the groomsmen. In a Wedding party that is bigger
than just four - the bride and groom, Best man and maid/matron of
honor - and I have had as many as nine bridesmaids and nine
groomsmen! - it is quite lovely for The bridesmaids to be escorted.
And now I see to it that the groomsman gives his full attention to
the girl, escorting her Fully to her place before releasing her. Then
I have the groomsman walk over to the groom, shake his hand and
then take his place at the front. In some cases, especially when
bridesmaids are representative of the groom's family, I have the
bridesmaid kiss the groom on the cheek, then have the groomsman
escort her to her position and then have the groomsman shake the
groom's hand and then take his place.
All of the wedding attendants should stand facing towards
the aisle where the bride will walk in. I always have everyone
stand for the entrance of the bride.
If you have a ring bearer who is under seven years old,
I don't recommend that you have him have the real rings. Also
I've experienced some awkward moments when the groom can't
get the ring off the pillow!
Sometimes, a dear parent or grandparent passes on before
A couple can be married. I talk with these couples, and usually
they say something like, "I only wish my mother could be at my
wedding" or "my grandmother and I have talked about my
wedding since I was a little girl. I wish she could be there when
I am married." So I have a moment in the ceremony to remember
this dear one and acknowledge their presence at the ceremony "in
One bride had been so close to her dad all of her life, and
he passed away about three months before her wedding day.
She bravely walked to the altar alone, and as I welcomed the
guests and thanked them all for coming, I said, "And we remember
Amanda's Dad, Mr. _________, whom we know is with us
Today, In spirit.
Another bride and groom wanted to do The Unity Candle.I had told them about the way my son and his wife did theirs. My
son's father and I went forward and lit a candle and gave it to
David. Cindy's parents went forward and lit a candle and gave it
to her. The two of them then lighted The United Candle.
However, the bride's mother had passed away several years
before. But the bride had four sisters. I called the groom's parents
forward to light his candle. They lit the candle and gave it to the
groom, and then they stood behind him. Then I said to the guests,
"I would like to invite Celia's father to come forward now, and in
memory of Celia's mother, her four sisters will now light her
candle." The sisters began to walk up to the altar from different
places among the guests. An awesome hush descended upon the
guests. Celia's oldest sister lit the candle, saying, "This is for you,
Mom." She passed it to the second sister who said, "This is for
you, Mom." The third sister took the candle, tears running down
her cheeks and said, "I love you, Mom. This is for you." And
finally, the baby sister, took the candle. She hugged the other
sisters, and then said, "We love you, Mom. This is for you." She
then hugged Celia and gave the candle to Celia's dad who then
gave it to her. Then the bride and groom lit The Unity Candle ehile I gave the Native American Indian Wedding Blessing.Remembering loved ones who have already passed away
from our presence can be done tastefully, lovingly and help to
create a new memory that is comforting and everlasting.
Another way to set a new tradition is in the seating of
important guests. Normally, the mother of the groom is
seated and then the mother of the bride is seated. These
special seatings are usually the signal that the wedding is
about to start. More recently, I have been having the Groom
seat his mother, if I can't get him to have his mother and father
walk him in. And I also have grandmothers and great grandmothers seated. And sisters and special aunts - anyone who
has been a significant influence in the life of either the bride
Any way that you can think of to make your wedding
ceremony a tribute to love and being loved is acceptable and
THE WEDDING CEREMONY
Let's now, let us talk about your Ceremony. I feel that
couples should give as much time and special attention to the
ceremony as they do to all the other details of the wedding. Some
times, couples spend up to a year planning a wedding, and do not
discuss the Wedding Ceremony at all! However, the wedding
really is the ceremony. It only takes about 15-20 minutes, but it is
the ceremony that actually causes you to be married - the vows
and promises that you say to one another in the presence of
witnesses, which is then authenticated by your officiant by filing
the Marriage License with the County Clerk of the County in
which you are married. You could file the Marriage License and
not have a ceremony, and you won't be married. You can have a
ceremony and not file the Marriage License, and you won't be
married. It takes the two functions: the promises and vows and
the filing of the License that actually make you married. So I
believe that the promises and vows that you make to one another
are the single most important part of everything that you do.
I write a personal wedding ceremony for each of my couples.
Many pastors or other officials who marry people have a standard
ceremony they use. These are found in books that contain
ceremonies for The Wedding, The Funeral, The Baptism, and other
rites of passage. Most of these ceremonies reflect traditions and
rituals from the past when woman was more of a piece of property
under a man's authority with no voice or vote or rights of her own.
While most women do not promise to love, honor and "obey" their
husbands today, these traditional ceremonies still pronounce the
couple MAN and wife, brides still wear veils, and the official still
asks, "Who gives this woman to be married to this man."
I encourage all of my brides and grooms to eliminate any phraseology or
traditional wording that supports male domination and female submission. I
do not have fathers "give" the bride to the man. I ask fathers, "Do you
stand with your daughter today and support her in her decision to be married
to groom?" I have completely changed the ring ceremony, and after I
pronounce my couples husband and wife, I say, "You may now share your first
kiss as husband and wife." I don't know why the woman has always still been
called the"bride" this point! The woman is now the man's wife, and the kiss
is your First kiss as husband and wife. It really is the purpose for the
A little story at the beginning of the ceremony as to how you
met and fell in love is always enjoyed by the guests. You can
share some of the parts of your love story that are Unique and
personal. Loving and being loved is all there is, and your love is
what has brought you to the marriage altar. At one of my
weddings, I said, "Bruce was busy planning the opening of another
Ralph's Grocery Store, and here comes Kathy selling her farm
fresh chickens. Many telephone calls later, Ralph's Grocery
carried Kathy's full line of chickens, and Bruce had made a date to
take Kathy out for a steak dinner!"
The vows you say to one another are what really becomes
your "marriage contract." The Vow is the pledge from your heart
of your deep love and affection. The Vow also implies the
promise of fidelity, honesty and constancy. A promise gives the
one to whom the promise is made great hope and expectation for
the performance of the promise. You must totally trust the one
who is making you the promise, or otherwise the promise isn't
When it comes to speaking your vows and promises to one
another, please remember that you are going to be nervous! This
is NORMAL! You are changing your status and your life
dramatically. The moment is tremendous and tumultuous, inside
The "coolist" groom I ever saw was an active-duty Marine
sporting the identifying haircut and the big shoulders, arms and
chest that one normally thinks of with a strong, macho, marine
type. At the last moment, just as the bride appeared in the
doorway on the arm of her father, he said, "Oh my God, my knees
are starting to shake." I said, "Hang in there, Marine! You are
going to be all right. Don't fall down on me now!" He was able
to stay standing, but he was so nervous as he spoke his vows, I was
afraid I was going to have to say them for him! He could barely
get them out!
Another bride had been through two years of wondering if
she was EVER going to be married to the man she loved. Already
they had a child together. But they met while he was still married
to another, and the other woman fought the divorce with all of her
might and money. In the meanwhile, the couple were living
together and raising their little girl. When it came time for her to
repeat after me that she was taking the groom to be her husband,
she completely lost her breath and couldn't utter any words at all.
Only deep, heart-rending sobs came out. To me, I felt she was
finally releasing all of the pent-up emotions that had built up
during the long two years she had waited for this moment. Istepped out of my position and took her in my arms and held her
until she composed herself and was able to continue the ceremony.
At the moment Ipronounced them husband and wife, the look on
her face was finally radiant.
If, when it is time to say your vows, you find that you are"breathless" - just take a moment, compose yourself and just
breathe deeply. The words will then be able to come out!!!!
Many couples I work with want to write their own vows and
promises. Even on the soap operas today, the couples are writing
and speaking their own vows to one another. These trained actors
are able to memorize and speak their vows without notes. But I
never let my couples try to speak their vows to one another from
memory. The only time I relented, and against my better judgment
let the couple do it, the bride had written hers on the inside of her
palm, for reminder's sake, just in case she forgot. But the groom
was not so well prepared. When it was time for him to speak his
vows, he went blank, burst into tears, and all he could say was, Ilove you, I love you, I love you. The bride was openly aggravated
and couldn't wait to berate him for his failure the minute we
started the processional down the stairs of the huge boat we used
for the ceremony to go to the dining room. I was right behind
them, and I felt so sorry for them both. What a way to start a
If you are going to speak your vows to one another rather
than be led by the officiant to repeat them, I recommend that you
have your vows written on a 3 x 5 card. The Best Man can havethe groom's card and the Maid/Matron of Honor can have the
bride's. Sometimes, I have the bride's copy of her vows and I
give it to her when it is time. Then, you read your vows from the
card as you face one another. It is my experience that the guests
are just as touched by the words, even though you read them.
I usually lead my couples in saying the words when
they take each other to be husband and wife. I do not use
"lawfully wedded" husband or "lawfully wedded" wife. I am
indebted to a recent bride who is a litigator for a large law firm in
San Francisco. Her husband also is an attorney whose law firm
was defending the MicroSoft law suit for Bill Gates. These two
went over my marriage ceremony like it was a brief to be
submitted to the Supreme Court! These two probably realized
more than any other couple I have ever married the importance of
the Ceremony as representing an "Agreement and Contract"
of great significance! Nhien added a line to my vows
that I now use at all of my weddings because it is so beautiful.
After I ask the questions, I now say to the bride and groom,
"Repeat after me: I Bride/Groom take you Groom/Bride to be my
husband/wife - to share all that I am and all that I have for all time
to come." Isn't that just beautiful! I told Nhien that I would be
putting it in this book, and she was thrilled that she would be
contributing to so many other couple's happiness.
I have worked with some couples who go through three, four
or five drafts of their wedding ceremony before we get it exactly
the way they want it. And I am thrilled when couples want to put
this much energy into their ceremony, the words they are going to
say to one another which represent their love, their devotion, their
responsibility to one another, their caring, their philosophy of life,
their hopes and their dreams for one another. It shows me that
there is a consecration, a dedication to one another that will give
the marriage I am performing such tremendous power for success.My ceremony is suitable for most any religious or non-religious wedding, and can be used by any pastor, priest, judge,Justice of the Peace or non-denominational clergy.
MARCY ANN'S WEDDING
with commentary in red
Marcy Ann's WEDDING CEREMONY
Written by Officiant Marcy Ann Cheek
BRIDE & GROOM
Date and Time and Location
WELCOME & PURPOSE
Weddings are the most wonderful event we have on
earth. If someone finds out you are going to get married, they will want to
come! However, many people who attend weddings fly across the country and
sometimes the oceans in order to be there. They spend a lot of money and
take their precious time to attend your wedding. So it is fitting and proper
and especially kind to thank them for their effort! And the Purpose for the
gathering is always celebration. Sometimes, traditional clergy think a
wedding is a time to preach the gospel. But it isn't. It is a celebration of
the couple's love for one another and sharing their vows and promise with
all of their family and friends. It is not a time to preach just because
there is a captive audience!
REMEMBERING THOSE WHO HAVE PASSED
We can remember anyone who has been significant in your life and who you
would like to feel their presence at your Wedding.
To remember loved ones at a wedding can be appropriate
if it does not cause sadness. One time, I married a groom who was a twin.
His brother was his Best Man. And their mother had died just 3 months
before. They wanted to remember her as being present in spirit during the
ceremony by releasing butterflies. Their sister came from Washington to
attend the wedding, and when they released the butterflies, she burst into
sobs! We hadn't reckoned her reaction! So you need to consider anyone who
might be present who would be affected by remembering those who have passed.
If you consider that there really is no such thing as "death," but that the
person is still alive, just in a different dimension, their presence can be
acknowledged in Truth.
Clergy: All of us need to love and to be loved. And the highest form of love
between a man and a woman is in a monogamous
relationship, where neither one now has any desire to be with anyone else.
I always ask my brides and grooms if they expect to
have their marriage be monogamous. I usually get a look of surprise from the
bride and the groom sometimes begins to move uncomfortably in his seat! Men
are not by nature monogamous. But a man can make a decision to be with just
one woman, forsaking all others. Most cultures and societies of the earth do
not have monogamous relationships. The men have a wife, but they have lovers
on the side - regular mistresses, one-night stands, male lovers and
Monogamy is for the woman, to guarantee that the heir of the man is truly
his heir, blood of his blood, flesh of his flesh.
If the woman is with no one else, then the man knows that the baby is his.
In many cultures, it has never mattered how many women the man was with! In my book,
"The Single Girl's Handbook - 17 things to do while waiting for Mr.
Right to show up" I go into the matter of Monogomy in more detail.(www.MrRightforme.com)
PUBLIC DECLARATION OF INTENTIONS (required)
GROOM: Is it your intent to devote all of yourself to BRIDE and to BRIDE
only in marriage? Yes.
BRIDE: Is it your intent to devote all of yourself to GROOM and to GROOM
only in marriage? Yes.
A declaration of intent in the presence of witnesses makes a marriage legal.
I had a man call me one morning and say, "I've still got my marriage
license. If I don't send it in, will I not be married, and she can't
get everything that I've got?" First of all I asked why he had
the marriage license. It is the responsibility of the Clergy to file
the license with the County Clerk. He said he had asked the minister
for it. I would not have given it to him, but apparently, this
minister did. I asked him if he had declared his intent to marry
the woman in the presence of witnesses. He said Yes, we had a ceremony
and people were present. Then I said, "Sir, if you don't file that
license with the County Clerk, she not only can get 1/2 of everything you
have, she can get it all! She will have a civil action against
PRESENTATION OF THE BRIDE
Clergy: Who stands with you today, BRIDE?
Clergy: Is this a happy day for you? Do you agree with
And support your daughter's decision to be married to GROOM?
This is the 21st Century presentation. No more "giving
(or - who gives this woman to be married to this man?)
This presentation is for old-fashioned dads.
HONORING THE MOTHERS(PARENTS)
If you feel that you have had a good mother, this is a
lovely way to honor her and say Thanks! Mom! for all of your love and
understanding in my life. You can present her with a long-stemmed rose or a
lei or just give her a kiss. Clergy will call for the mothers to come and
stand beside their child.
Thank You for your unconditional love, for standing beside me, in front of
me, behind me, always giving your support, and loving me
through all the evens of my life. Thank You Mother.
Clergy: Your marriage today is the public and the legal union of your two
souls who are already united as one in your hearts. Now marriage will give
you a new way to share your lives together, standing together to face life
and the world, hand-in-hand.
If B&G have children from another marriage:
I believe it is extremely important to include
children from a former marriage in the wedding ceremony. Children need to
know that they are still important to you, that nothing is going to change
in their life again. They have already been through a divorce and now they
are wondering what's going to happen now. The Family Blending of the Sand
Ceremony is a great way for them to know that they are going to be a part of
the new family.
Clergy: Marriage is the public and legal union of two souls who have found
one another, who love one another and who have already been united and
joined together as one in their hearts.
Your marriage is all of that but it is so much bigger than this,
And your marriage is also blending together your two families and
That includes (names of children).
FAMILY BLENDING OF THE SANDS CEREMONY
Clergy will supply a Keepsake Sand Container, and each family member will
choose a color of sand to pour into the container. Clergy will give
appropriate explanations for the colors as each person pours in their sand,
based upon personal discussions with the family.
If B&G have children together or bride is pregnant:
Clergy: Marriage is the public and legal union of two souls who have found
one another, who love one another and who have already been united and
joined together as one in their hearts. Your marriage is all of that but you
are also legally establishing your family. Your love has already manifested
in the highest form possible in the birth of or as you look forward to the
birth of: (names of the children).
Clergy: Now marriage is going to give all of you a new way to share your
lives together, standing together to face life and the world, hand-in-hand,
as a family. As you create a loving family home, make your home a place of
peace and safety where your children know that there are two people who
really care about them.
DEFINITIONS OF LOVE
Clergy: When you really care about someone, you will be loyal to them. You
will always believe in them, always see the best in them and always stand
your ground to defend them.
Here are some other definitions of love. It is nice to
have at least one of these. And you could choose some other definition as
Clergy: Back in the 12th Century, a nobleman poured out his feelings about
love with this poem:
True Love is a sacred flame that burns eternally.
And none can dim its special glow or change its destiny.
True Love speaks in tender tones and hears with gentle ear.
True Love gives with open heart and True Love conquers fear.
True Love makes no harsh demands. It neither rules nor binds.
True Love holds with gentle hands the hearts that it entwines.
SOONER OR LATER
Sooner or later, we begin to understand that love is not a few words of a
Valentine's Day Card or the romance we see in the movies. We begin to know
that love is real and true, here and now. Love is the creator of our
favorite memories, and the foundation of our fondest dreams. Love is a
promise that is always kept, a fortune that is never spent, a seed that can
flourish in even the most barren of places. This mysterious and magical
power is the greatest treasure that one can have, and it is only known by
those who love.
BIBLE DEFINITION OF LOVE
The Bible says that love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does
not boast. It is not proud, it is not rude. It is not self-seeking, it is
not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in
evil, but love rejoices in Truth. And love can stand to know the Truth. Love
always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love
Clergy: The Bible says that Love never fails, so your love will never fail
you. Just let your marriage be a time of waking up each morning and falling
in love all over again with one another.
Clergy: Your Marriage begins today with your vows and One Promise. The
marriage vow is a promise of fidelity and honesty.
Are you ready to speak your vows?
(Clergy will take bride's bouquet and give to someone close by).
Bride&Groom will turn and face each other and hold hands.
Clergy: GROOM, Do you love BRIDE of your free will, and do you like her just
the way she is? This question determines that there is
not fraud, no coercion, and that you accept the other person exactly the way
he/she is now, with no hidden agendas to try to change them after the
Clergy: GROOM, do you have any doubts about getting married today?
It is very powerful to be facing each other and
looking in each other's eyes and say - "I have absolutely no doubts about this
Clergy: GROOM, will you give your deepest considerations to her feelings,
desires and needs as a woman? Yes. This is not a
"black hole" you are stepping into! You are only saying that you will
give the other person your "deepest considerations." Honey, I will
deeply consider that request! We never
relinquish our autonomy as an individual.
Clergy: GROOM, will you be her confidant, her sweetheart and her lover and
her best friend, from now on? Yes.
Clergy: Then repeat after me, I GROOM take you BRIDE to be my wife. To share
all that I am and all that I have, for better, for worse, for richer, for
poorer, in sickness and in health, for all of our days together.
Clergy: And GROOM, do you promise to do all in your power to keep your love
- deep and strong - as it is right now? I do.
Clergy: Then repeat after me, I GROOM take you BRIDE to be my wife. I will
honor you and cherish you all the days of my life, and I promise to do all
in my power to keep my love for you, pure and true, deep and strong, as it
is right now.
Clergy: BRIDE, do you love GROOM of your free will and do you like him just
the way he is?
Clergy: BRIDE, do you have any doubts about getting married today?
Clergy: BRIDE, will you give your deepest considerations to his feelings,
desires and needs as a woman? Yes
Clergy: BRIDE, will you be his confidant, his sweetheart and his lover and
his best friend, from now on? Yes
Clergy: Repeat after me, I BRIDE take you GROOM to be my husband. To share
all that I am and all that I have, for better, for worse, for richer, for
poorer, in sickness and in health, for all of our days together.
Clergy: BRIDE, do you promise to do all in your power to keep your love -
deep and strong - as it is right now? I do.
Clergy: Then repeat after me, I BRIDE take you GROOM to be my HUSBAND. I
will honor you and cherish you all the days of my life, and I promise to do
all in my power to keep my love for you, pure and true, deep and strong, as
it is right now.
Clergy: Do you have personal statements to say to one another?
This is an opportunity to say something personal to
one another at your wedding ceremony. I suggest that you write down what you
want to say and read it to each other.
Here is a wonderful personal statement: I love
you this much: enough to do anything for you, give my life, my love,
my heart and my soul to you and for you. Enough to willingly
give my time, efforts, thoughts, talents, and trust to you. Enough to
want to protect you, care for you, guide you, hold you, comfort you, listen
to you, laugh with you and cry with you. Enough to be silly
around you, never have to hide anything from you, and be myself with you.
Enough to share all of my sentiments, hopes, dreams, goals, fears and
worries, my entire life with you. Enough to want the best for you, to
wish for your success and to hope for the fulfillment of all of your
endeavors. Enough to keep my promises to you and pledge my loyalty and
faithfullness to you. Enough to cherish your friendship, adore your
personality, respect your values and see you for who you are. Enough
to fight for you, compromise for you and sacrifice myself for you.
Enough to miss you incredibly when we are apart, no matter what length of
time it's for and regardless of the distance. Enough to believe in our
relationship, to stand by it through the worst of times and the best of
times, to have faith in our strength as a couple and to never ever give up
on us. Enough to spend the rest of my life with you, to never leave
you or live without you. I love you this much.
For a non-religious ceremony, you can use the Spoken
Wedding Blessing. Some brides choose the Spoken Blessing and the Prayer.
(Optional) SPOKEN WEDDING BLESSING
Clergy: May you never forget the beginnings of your love. Continue to
nurture it and allow it to grow and deepen as the years pass by. And may you
always consider the other's happiness in every decision that you make. And
may you keep this promise you have made today throughout all the thick and
thin of your life's experiences. And may you always be in love. So be it.
Clergy: Dearest God, I ask that you bless and sanctify the union of these
two precious souls, BRIDE and GROOM. As they live in your love, awake and
asleep, at work and at play, as they seek wisdom for their lives, let them
find all of those secret, wondrous joys you have especially for them. Amen.
I believe that you have the power to receive
wisdoms for your life together as husband and wife that perhaps have never
been on the earth before. All you have to do is ask, and you shall
It's interesting to me that most brides still want to
say, with this ring, I thee wed! It seems there's something about these
words from our past that solidify the giving and receiving of the outward
symbol of being married! I also give brides the option to say, with this
ring, I marry you.
Clergy: GROOM, repeat after me, BRIDE, I give you this ring, as a symbol of
my love. Please wear it, as a sign to the world that you are my wife. With
this ring, I thee wed, I marry you.
Clergy: BRIDE, Repeat after me, GROOM, I give you this ring, as a symbol of
my love. Please wear it, as a sign to the world that you are my husband.
With this ring, I thee wed, I marry you.
This is a way to include your guests in the ceremony.
They have the opportunity to give their blessing to the marriage, and
everyone who attends the wedding gets to say the famous I Do! This option is
the reverse of "speak now or forever hold your peace."
(Optional) CONGREGATIONAL BLESSING
Clergy: Ladies & Gentlemen, BRIDE & GROOM have now demonstrated in your
presence their belief in their love and their desire to live together in
marriage. If you also believe in their love and you wish to add your
blessing to the marriage, would you now respond by saying I Do.
Everyone says, I Do!
SAND CEREMONY OR UNITY CANDLE
Outdoor weddings always posed a problem keeping Unity
Candles lighted! So outdoors, I do the Sand Ceremony. Indoors, you can do a
Unity Candle. Other rituals that can be included in your ceremony are the
First Gift - exchanging roses; giving the Arras, or having sponsors.
DECLARATION AS HUSBAND AND WIFE
Clergy: Now therefore, inasmuch as you have spoken your love promises to one
another in the presence of these witnesses, (and you have their blessing),
and each of you has given and received a wedding ring, by the power vest in
me by the State of California, it is now my deepest honor to now declare
that you are husband and wife.
Clergy: May you love deeply, laugh out loud every day,
Realize all of your hopes and dreams, and see many sunrises and sunsets. In
the presence of family and friends, by the power vested in me by the State
of California, it is my deepest honor to declare that you are now husband
FIRST KISS AS HUSBAND AND WIFE
Clergy: You may share your first kiss as husband and wife.
No more kissing the bride. You are THE WIFE
NOW! This will be the first time you kiss each other as husband
Clergy: Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you for the very
First time, Here you can be introduced as Mr. and Mrs.
David Brown, or David & Julie Brown lets your guests hear your new name.
Sometimes, I say, Ladies & Gentlemen, the newlyweds, David & Julie!!
Many brides and grooms take most of their formal
before the ceremony, and then take formal family pictures
afterwards. Whether you take your pictures before or after,
you should always have an announcement to your guests right
after the completion of the ceremony so the guests know where
they are suppose to go and what they are suppose to do next. I have watched too many guests be confused after the ceremony.
They need to know whether they should pay for
their drinks or not. Sometimes, they are left to themselves for way
too long before the bride and groom join them for the reception.
Your wedding day plans should include some type of drinks and/or
snacks for the guests to be able to socialize together until you join
them at the reception. And have your officiant or your D.J. give
the announcement to the guests right after you and your wedding
party recess out of the ceremony area. It is also very nice to have
selected ushers come and escort out the family of the bride and
groom who will also be needed at that time for the formal pictures.
Then the announcement can be made to the guests regarding the
next part of the festivities.
RELIGIOUS & SPIRITUAL THINGS
Most of the couples who call me have seen my web pages on the Internet (www.marcyann.com,
www.allcaliforniabeachweddings.com ) Many of the couples I marry have no
particular or specific religious practices, although most have some
religious experience in their backgrounds. Many couples are of mixed
religious faiths -Jewish and Catholic, or Catholic and Protestant, or Hindu
and Christian, or Buddha and Methodist. I do many civil ceremonies for
Hindu's and Buddhists after they have their traditional religious ceremony.
I say in my ceremony that the marriage is the public and legal union of two
souls who are already joined together and united as ONE in the heart of each
person. I do not believe that we, as ministers, who have credentials
to perform marriage ceremonies, get any "authority" to do it from God. My
power to unite people in marriage is from the State of California. And the
power of any minister is actually from the State where the marriage ceremony
is being performed. The Marriage Ceremony makes the
couples legally married. Many ministers say, "by the power I have from God"
or they say "we are in the presence of God" or "in the eyes of God" I
pronounce you husband and wife. I believe that the "eyes of God"
are the eyes of the guests - the friends and family of the bride and groom -
who come to the wedding. I believe these same guests - the friends and
family of the bride and groom - also produce the "presence of God" for the
ceremony. Each and every person contains the Spirit of God, the presence of
God within their mortal body. So their physical presence produces the
presence and the eyes of God.
I had a special moment with a father recently in the kitchen of their home
before we did the beautiful ceremony in the back yard around the pool. He
was polite to me, but I could tell he had resistance to what
was going on that day. He said that the family was Catholic, and he had been
trying to get his daughter's first marriage, which had been quite abusive,
annulled by the Catholic Church so this marriage could be by a Priest in the
Catholic Church. The bride was legally divorced from her first husband and was
now pregnant by her current boyfriend, so he could no longer wait for the processes of The Catholic
Church to be finished. Hence the reason for the wedding that day. I took the
father's hands in mine and said, "My friend, today we are providing a legal
environment so that your grandchild can be born of parents who are living
together in marriage. You can always have your religious ceremony later on
when the final annulment is given by the Catholic Church." His face
brightened. He had not thought of the difference between legalities and
Men and women have been being "married" for thousands of years without any
sanctions from religious organizations. In primitive cultures, the man took
the woman into his abode in the presence of witnesses, and
they were considered "married." "Married" meant that the woman belonged to
that man, and no other man would be intimate with her. She would bear that
man's children. Today, men and women speak their intentions towards each
other in the presence of witnesses, and they then
live together in one abode and many times produce children together. So
things haven't really changed in the true and original purposes of the
creation. When Religions began to be cultivated and organized around
certain Spiritual Truths, then man began making rules and regulations which
pertained only to that specific religious organization. Members of that
specific religion are then expected to conform to the overall beliefs
concerning marriage. The Buddhists and Hindu's have their religious
ceremonies, and then they have their civil ceremonies. The religious
ceremony satisfies the dictates of that specific religious faith, and the
civil ceremony makes the marriage legal for purposes of begatting children
owning property together. I say, have two ceremonies, or sometimes, both can
be done in one ceremony. Even if a couple doesn't have a "religious"
ceremony, I believe any Wedding Ceremony is a holy moment, a Spiritual
experience for the two people. My ceremonies are not religious but they are
very spiritual, very personal, very intimate and glorifying to the man and
People ask me all the time if my couples stay married! Of course, I have no
idea! My personal feeling is that all relationships have purpose. Every
single couple I have married believed at that moment that they had finally
found The One! Not all marriages last, it is true. But, all marriages have
I got an e-mail that said: Is your relationship for a season, a reason or a
lifetime? Some legal unions are to begat a certain child or children
who desire the specific genetic codings that those two people provide, and
then the purpose for the marriage is over. Some unions are times to grow and
mature, to help us find the Truth about ourselves and Know our true Purpose.
Only a marriage of the hearts will last and be for a lifetime
together - when a man and a woman have found the RIGHT ONE:
the other half of themselves. In fact, it will be an eternal union with
one person from then on -forever. This is a union of TWIN
FLAMES, who have come into physical embodiment from a single
ray of light, manifesting as male and female. Other unions can be with
soul-mates. You can have more than one soul-mate. These unions can be for a
lifetime but usually last only for several years. They are right and true
and have real purpose and meaning. If a union with a soul-mate produces a
child, the man and woman must be very dedicated to be the best mother and
father that they can be, even if they do not stay married to the other
The eternal, forever unions, however, are with the sure and pure complement
and completion of our Higher Holy Self with the other part of our personal self. Only
a person who has entered into the fullness of their own personal higher holy
self can attract their pure complement, as we attract to us people who are
at the level of development as we are. I suggest you get my book,
"The Single Girl's Handbook, 17 things to do while you
are waiting for Mr. Right - The 21st century Bride-to-be-Book to check and see where you are in your development as a person,
and then you would know if the person you are thinking about getting married
to is the "right" person for you.
Twin Flame unions are of the greatest love and bring wondrous benefits to
the planet Earth. These unions are the most prosperous, the most fulfilling,
the best examples of married love and are the most desirable. They are worth
waiting for! It is time in the evolution of Planet Earth for Only Twin
Flames to be together to produce the energy, The enlightenment and the
children who are to take us into new frontiers of spirituality and
Let It Be So! And So It Is.
AMEN & NAMESTE.